Just for Laughs

[yxesmas]

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were smoking cigarettes one afternoon. The blonde had Camels, red head had Marlboros, and the brunette had Kools.

It began to rain, so the red head and brunette both pulled out a condom and put it on their cigs. The blonde said “what are you doing?” - and they said “we’re saving it for later!”

Impressed, and in a hurry, the blonde went to the nearest store and asked for a condom. The clerk said “What size? small, medium, or large?” She said “I dont know… one to fit a camel?”

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There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

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Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,

"Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time.
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GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!!

[yxesmas]

LET'S LEARN FRENCH OUII, OUI????

(learning a new language helps prevent alzheimer's)

1. TURN - le coup

2. LITER - le true

3. BEHIND - le coud

4. ALMS - le mousse

5. FIVE - le ma

6 . FLY - le pad

7. DID NOT TAKE A BATH - le bag

8. CONFUSED - le tou

9. NO LONGER A VIRGIN - les pag

10. UNFAITHFUL HUSBAND - cou ma le wah

11. CITY - ce vou

12. DRUGS - sha vou

13. GOODBYE - va vou

14. MUSICAL BAND - com vou

15. BALD - cal vou

16. CAUGHT IN THE ACT - na vou coup, na coup!!

17. FEATHERS - valahe vou

18. UNCLEAR - ma la vou

19. SINK - lah va vou

20. COCONUT - vou coup

21. OPEN WIDE - vou camou

22. CIRCUMCISE - vou ratattoule

23. ALWAYS UP - va yagriah

24. YOU'RE HOT - le voug mou

25. WASHROOM - coup vaetta

26. JAIL - coup lou ngan

27. SUPER BOOBS - la que zõusõu

28. BUGER - cõup la ngõut

29. WOUNDS - va cõup cängh

30. BIG MOUTH - chez moussa

31. NAGGER - vou nga nguerrah

32. TODPOLE - vou teiteh

33.. JOSEPH ESTRADA - vou vou!!

"Of all things you wear, a SMILE is most important!"

[bobbylon]

panalo ang french lesson!

[Cent]

Hi SAm, tsampi ka talaga napa-smile moko sa French lesson, mwahhh... Ingat!

[romance]

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were smoking cigarettes one afternoon. The blonde had Camels, red head had Marlboros, and the brunette had Kools.

It began to rain, so the red head and brunette both pulled out a condom and put it on their cigs. The blonde said “what are you doing?” - and they said “we’re saving it for later!”

Impressed, and in a hurry, the blonde went to the nearest store and asked for a condom. The clerk said “What size? small, medium, or large?” She said “I dont know… one to fit a camel?”

========================================================================

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

========================================================================

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,

"Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time.
............ ......... ..........
............ ......... .........
............ ......... ........
............ ......... .......
............ ......... ......
............ ......... .....
............ ......... ....
............ ......... ...
............ ......... ..
............ ......... .
............ .........
............ ........
............ .......
............ ......
............ .....
............ ....
............ ...
............ ..
............ .
............
...........
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
.
.
.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!!

[code]

[romance]

LET'S LEARN FRENCH OUII, OUI????

(learning a new language helps prevent alzheimer's)

1. TURN - le coup

2. LITER - le true

3. BEHIND - le coud

4. ALMS - le mousse

5. FIVE - le ma

6 . FLY - le pad

7. DID NOT TAKE A BATH - le bag

8. CONFUSED - le tou

9. NO LONGER A VIRGIN - les pag

10. UNFAITHFUL HUSBAND - cou ma le wah

11. CITY - ce vou

12. DRUGS - sha vou

13. GOODBYE - va vou

14. MUSICAL BAND - com vou

15. BALD - cal vou

16. CAUGHT IN THE ACT - na vou coup, na coup!!

17. FEATHERS - valahe vou

18. UNCLEAR - ma la vou

19. SINK - lah va vou

20. COCONUT - vou coup

21. OPEN WIDE - vou camou

22. CIRCUMCISE - vou ratattoule

23. ALWAYS UP - va yagriah

24. YOU'RE HOT - le voug mou

25. WASHROOM - coup vaetta

26. JAIL - coup lou ngan

27. SUPER BOOBS - la que zõusõu

28. BUGER - cõup la ngõut

29. WOUNDS - va cõup cängh

30. BIG MOUTH - chez moussa

31. NAGGER - vou nga nguerrah

32. TODPOLE - vou teiteh

33.. JOSEPH ESTRADA - vou vou!!

"Of all things you wear, a SMILE is most important!"

hahaha..panalo...lola tsamps!...

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